At a home party last time, i was told by multiple people independently that 1) I don't look Japanese（日本人に見えない！！）and 2) I don't look my age (they actually guessed older.... which to me isn't very flattering) （えーー未だ２＃だけなの？大人っぽいね。落ち着いてるね）.
These are comments I get all the time everywhere.
I admit, compared to other Japanese girls my age, I at least act older. In fact, Japanese people are always commenting on how "american girls" seem so much older. Even when I was in middle school, I thought my classmates were a little more childish compared to my own. How? That's difficult to say... less independence? less defined personality? less ambition for something greater? more shy with a quivering sense of self? There must be something about the "American childhood" or values or education or SOMETHING that raises children to be so obviously difference from japanese children. What that is, I can't put a finger on quite yet.
By blood, I'm 100% Japanese. Yet, people in the US and people in Japan have this idea of what a typical Japanese woman looks like, and for some reason, I don't fall into that category. I guess that also means they have an idea of what non-Japanese looks like. One thing about Japan that I find unfortunate is that it can be xenophobic... it can be afraid, unwelcoming, or just distant from what they view as the "other." Of course, Japanese are obsessed with the "Western" world -- fashion, music, food, the brown hair, big-eyed european... But there's a difference between staring at wonder - like a piece displayed at a museum - versus that "other thing" becoming an intimate part of their lives.
I was speaking to one 34 year old gentleman who's been working in Texas as an antique dealer for 5 years. He told me that he initially could not get used to the lifestyle here, but now, he really loves it. His wife has only been here for about 3 years and desires to go back to Tokyo. They have one 2 year old daughter. One of his worries was that he doesn't know whether or not to raise his child in the US or in Japan. He doesn't know which is "better" for his child. But one truth is that if they stay in the US, his child will inevitably be "americanized," and he can't imagine his child being culturally different from him. Of course, as long as his child is happy and is raised properly with good values, that's the best he could ask for. So he admits this worry must be so miniscule but he does think about it. He then said that I act very Japanese, so he's feeling more reassured after meeting me.I honestly have never really thought about that ever... maybe because I AM like that daughter, raised in a bi-cultural environment. I will never be fully "american" and never fully "japanese" at the same time -- whatever that means! But I take pride in that. Not being able to be placed in to a label box.
But I wonder, how good are those label boxes for anyone, really. Can people be put in a box of japanese or american? And how productive is that? Yea, I don't look Japanese, I may act Japanese, I am genetically Japanese, I seem more mature than Japanese my age -- but none of those description really say anything about me at all. Trying to put people in categories ultimately create the in vs. out, familiar vs. other, us vs. them - that kind of mentality. Not that this isn't beneficial at times, but it can slow down true growth....? true acceptance? true celebration of humanity in the world? haha getting cheesy now.
sigh. These are issues i will probably continue thinking about throughout my life. Perhaps I will come to new realizations after I start a family of my own.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Difficult introduction of 2 cats pt.II
It has been a week since I've adopted my new kitten, and I am thrilled.
The introduction process - although going slowly at first - suddenly took off!
Day 3
By day 3, I had decided to introduce the two through just a cage, uncovered.
On day 2, I took new kitten to the vet, so during that time, I let resident cat sniff out the bathroom where kitten was confined. I also covered the carrier with a cloth, and put that in the center of the living room. Of course, resident cat hissed at it.
So here are the steps for Day 3
- I put new kitten in the carrier and placed it initially covered, in the living room.
- Let resident cat become aware of its presence
- I then took out resident cat's favorite treats and gave them to her in front of the still covered cage
- Slowly, I unveiled the cage while the resident cat was scarfing down the treats
- Lots of hissing. Even a cat punch. Actually, resident cat even cat punched me when I was trying to push new kitten's paws back into the cage. It's funny, even though a big cat is hissing and punching right in front of him, new kitten didnt seem scared at all. He was sticking out his paws through the cage, meowing. Luckily, resident cat has never punched baring her nails, so I didn't get hope and hopefully kitten didn't either
- After the treats, I just left the cage uncovered, in the room for 30-40 minutes.
Day 4 - MIRACLE DAY!
So Day 4... Perhaps I was rushing. BUT, I decided to just introduce them face-to-face
Why so soon? Well -- I saw resident cat and kitten pawing at each other through the crack of the bathroom door.
Resident cat didn't seem afraid of the kitten anymore, and definitely less hissing. She also just lay by the bathroom, relaxed.
So what I did:
- Again, I put kitten in carrier and put it in the living room.
- Once resident cat was aware.... I just opened the cage door. Let nature run its course!
- Cautiously, kitten steps out.
- No hissing yet!
- Kitten then begins exploring the living room
- Resident cat follows kitten
- Kitten starts playing with the curtain strings.
- Resident cat curiously paws at the kitten.
- Kitten takes off in a run -- Cat follows -- then a long whirlwind of cat-chase begins.
- They switch being chased and chasing.
Now, 1 week after adoption, I hear no hissing at all. They get along great. Rough play a lot, resident cat even licks kitten sometimes, they eat food together...
I think things will be just fine.
:D
The introduction process - although going slowly at first - suddenly took off!
Day 3
By day 3, I had decided to introduce the two through just a cage, uncovered.
On day 2, I took new kitten to the vet, so during that time, I let resident cat sniff out the bathroom where kitten was confined. I also covered the carrier with a cloth, and put that in the center of the living room. Of course, resident cat hissed at it.
So here are the steps for Day 3
- I put new kitten in the carrier and placed it initially covered, in the living room.
- Let resident cat become aware of its presence
- I then took out resident cat's favorite treats and gave them to her in front of the still covered cage
- Slowly, I unveiled the cage while the resident cat was scarfing down the treats
- Lots of hissing. Even a cat punch. Actually, resident cat even cat punched me when I was trying to push new kitten's paws back into the cage. It's funny, even though a big cat is hissing and punching right in front of him, new kitten didnt seem scared at all. He was sticking out his paws through the cage, meowing. Luckily, resident cat has never punched baring her nails, so I didn't get hope and hopefully kitten didn't either
- After the treats, I just left the cage uncovered, in the room for 30-40 minutes.
Day 4 - MIRACLE DAY!
So Day 4... Perhaps I was rushing. BUT, I decided to just introduce them face-to-face
Why so soon? Well -- I saw resident cat and kitten pawing at each other through the crack of the bathroom door.
Resident cat didn't seem afraid of the kitten anymore, and definitely less hissing. She also just lay by the bathroom, relaxed.
So what I did:
- Again, I put kitten in carrier and put it in the living room.
- Once resident cat was aware.... I just opened the cage door. Let nature run its course!
- Cautiously, kitten steps out.
- No hissing yet!
- Kitten then begins exploring the living room
- Resident cat follows kitten
- Kitten starts playing with the curtain strings.
- Resident cat curiously paws at the kitten.
- Kitten takes off in a run -- Cat follows -- then a long whirlwind of cat-chase begins.
- They switch being chased and chasing.
Now, 1 week after adoption, I hear no hissing at all. They get along great. Rough play a lot, resident cat even licks kitten sometimes, they eat food together...
I think things will be just fine.
:D
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Difficult Introduction of 2 cats
My last true summer is almost over.
It has been a very fruitful one - my internship has been an amazing experience. My mentor is amazing, the surgeries I've seen and patients I've meet have been truly engaging.
I feel like I have stepped out of this summer a little bit more mature. I have a clear direction - surgery - that I want to go. And I feel ignited with ambition and determination, something very important during these long years of constant studying, where we often feel the fuel drain away as we burn out.
In other news, I am on a quick 10-day vacation. Well, not really a vacation because I have a lot of work to do - but my mentor is out of town, so I can work from home.
During this time, I decided to adopt a new kitten.
I have one cat - a tortoiseshell - who is about 1 year and 2 months. I found her in my parking lot last summer, and my boyfriend decided that adopt her. I found her right before my 1-month trip to SE Asia, so I wasn't planning on adopting her. I was going to feed her, take care of her shots/immunizations, socialize her a bit, and then ask a shelter to take her in. We found her at 5-6 weeks, so still a very young kitten and thus popular among adopted pets.
I went to several shelters in the area and finally found the kitten I thought would be the one. It's a boy, 8 weeks, and a creamy orange tabby. He has white feet (like stockings) and a white belly. Cutest little thing.
The introduction - still ongoing - is progressing... slow or fast? Depends, I suppose. I've read that cats can take from hours to months to accept one another... And some might never. But I wasn't expecting my resident cat to react with such aggression... so the road has been difficult.
Day 1
Day 1 was simple. I adopted kitten in the early afternoon (Wed Jul 20), and once I got home, I took him to the bathroom where I set up his temporary confinement. I brought back the carrier and placed it in the living room for resident cat to smell. So far... no hissing... Then I went into the bathroom and cuddle with kitten for a while, letting him know that everything is okay and that he is safe. Then I left my apartment and went back to work. Wanted to give both of them time to just calm down.
At night, I played with resident cat.
Troubles 1: When I went into the bathroom to be with kitten for a while, then when I came out, resident cat was really quite angry. Her posture was tense. I let her smell my hand and she actually growled and hiss at it many times. She didn't attack me or anything, but I have never seen her growl or hiss except just once at the vet. So surprised... I was expecting just curiosity at the least... and was really hoping for that chirping purr that resident cat did to the neighborhood stray cats. I guess since kitten was actually in her turf, she felt threatened.
I covered the crack under the door so that they won't be able to see each other, and just went to bed. Resident cat never came close to the door. Just hissed at it from a distance
Patience seems to be the true virtue in this scenarios. Don't rush anything!
It has been a very fruitful one - my internship has been an amazing experience. My mentor is amazing, the surgeries I've seen and patients I've meet have been truly engaging.
I feel like I have stepped out of this summer a little bit more mature. I have a clear direction - surgery - that I want to go. And I feel ignited with ambition and determination, something very important during these long years of constant studying, where we often feel the fuel drain away as we burn out.
In other news, I am on a quick 10-day vacation. Well, not really a vacation because I have a lot of work to do - but my mentor is out of town, so I can work from home.
During this time, I decided to adopt a new kitten.
I have one cat - a tortoiseshell - who is about 1 year and 2 months. I found her in my parking lot last summer, and my boyfriend decided that adopt her. I found her right before my 1-month trip to SE Asia, so I wasn't planning on adopting her. I was going to feed her, take care of her shots/immunizations, socialize her a bit, and then ask a shelter to take her in. We found her at 5-6 weeks, so still a very young kitten and thus popular among adopted pets.
I went to several shelters in the area and finally found the kitten I thought would be the one. It's a boy, 8 weeks, and a creamy orange tabby. He has white feet (like stockings) and a white belly. Cutest little thing.
The introduction - still ongoing - is progressing... slow or fast? Depends, I suppose. I've read that cats can take from hours to months to accept one another... And some might never. But I wasn't expecting my resident cat to react with such aggression... so the road has been difficult.
Day 1
Day 1 was simple. I adopted kitten in the early afternoon (Wed Jul 20), and once I got home, I took him to the bathroom where I set up his temporary confinement. I brought back the carrier and placed it in the living room for resident cat to smell. So far... no hissing... Then I went into the bathroom and cuddle with kitten for a while, letting him know that everything is okay and that he is safe. Then I left my apartment and went back to work. Wanted to give both of them time to just calm down.
At night, I played with resident cat.
Troubles 1: When I went into the bathroom to be with kitten for a while, then when I came out, resident cat was really quite angry. Her posture was tense. I let her smell my hand and she actually growled and hiss at it many times. She didn't attack me or anything, but I have never seen her growl or hiss except just once at the vet. So surprised... I was expecting just curiosity at the least... and was really hoping for that chirping purr that resident cat did to the neighborhood stray cats. I guess since kitten was actually in her turf, she felt threatened.
I covered the crack under the door so that they won't be able to see each other, and just went to bed. Resident cat never came close to the door. Just hissed at it from a distance
Patience seems to be the true virtue in this scenarios. Don't rush anything!
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