the Japanese image

At a home party last time, i was told by multiple people independently that 1) I don't look Japanese（日本人に見えない！！）and 2) I don't look my age (they actually guessed older.... which to me isn't very flattering)　（えーー未だ２＃だけなの？大人っぽいね。落ち着いてるね）.

These are comments I get all the time everywhere.

I admit, compared to other Japanese girls my age, I at least act older. In fact, Japanese people are always commenting on how "american girls" seem so much older. Even when I was in middle school, I thought my classmates were a little more childish compared to my own. How? That's difficult to say... less independence? less defined personality? less ambition for something greater? more shy with a quivering sense of self? There must be something about the "American childhood" or values or education or SOMETHING that raises children to be so obviously difference from japanese children. What that is, I can't put a finger on quite yet.

By blood, I'm 100% Japanese. Yet, people in the US and people in Japan have this idea of what a typical Japanese woman looks like, and for some reason, I don't fall into that category. I guess that also means they have an idea of what non-Japanese looks like. One thing about Japan that I find unfortunate is that it can be xenophobic... it can be afraid, unwelcoming, or just distant from what they view as the "other." Of course, Japanese are obsessed with the "Western" world -- fashion, music, food, the brown hair, big-eyed european... But there's a difference between staring at wonder - like a piece displayed at a museum - versus that "other thing" becoming an intimate part of their lives.
I was speaking to one 34 year old gentleman who's been working in Texas as an antique dealer for 5 years. He told me that he initially could not get used to the lifestyle here, but now, he really loves it. His wife has only been here for about 3 years and desires to go back to Tokyo. They have one 2 year old daughter. One of his worries was that he doesn't know whether or not to raise his child in the US or in Japan. He doesn't know which is "better" for his child. But one truth is that if they stay in the US, his child will inevitably be "americanized," and he can't imagine his child being culturally different from him. Of course, as long as his child is happy and is raised properly with good values, that's the best he could ask for. So he admits this worry must be so miniscule but he does think about it. He then said that I act very Japanese, so he's feeling more reassured after meeting me.I honestly have never really thought about that ever... maybe because I AM like that daughter, raised in a bi-cultural environment. I will never be fully "american" and never fully "japanese" at the same time -- whatever that means! But I take pride in that. Not being able to be placed in to a label box.
But I wonder, how good are those label boxes for anyone, really. Can people be put in a box of japanese or american? And how productive is that? Yea, I don't look Japanese, I may act Japanese, I am genetically Japanese, I seem more mature than Japanese my age -- but none of those description really say anything about me at all. Trying to put people in categories ultimately create the in vs. out, familiar vs. other, us vs. them - that kind of mentality. Not that this isn't beneficial at times, but it can slow down true growth....? true acceptance? true celebration of humanity in the world? haha getting cheesy now.

sigh. These are issues i will probably continue thinking about throughout my life. Perhaps I will come to new realizations after I start a family of my own.